I know what you’re thinking; it’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m just mad because I’m single. Let’s clarify this situation: I’m not mad because I’m single, and I’m also not single (everyone who knows me suddenly gasps.)
Before you start wondering what has happened to me, I would like to explain that there is a huge difference between being single and being Forever Alone. Single is when you could have time for love, but not at the moment whereas Forever Alone is when love is not part of your life and never will be. In saying that I am not single, I am not implying that I am taken. I’m actually stating my Forever Alone status, which I am rather proud of.
My hatred of Valentine’s Day inspired me to have Forever Alone Day this year! Well, actually it was the school’s fault. I arrived at school one day only to find posters everywhere that said (and I quote this straight from the source): “VALENTINE’S SPIRIT DAY! Colors to wear: red– taken; hands off, pink– swingin’; it’s complicated, or white– single and ready to mingle!” For whatever reason those stupid posters made me so mad. I hate the way my school acts like everyone should be in a relationship, especially around times like dances or Valentine’s Day. They always act like if you’re a girl and you don’t have a boyfriend (or vice versa) then you aren’t worth anything in the social world. News flash, school: some girls don’t need boyfriends and couldn’t get one even if they wanted one. Nobody ever thinks about the Forever Aloners. And that’s why my friend Anna and I (and a lot of other people, apparently) came up with a brilliant plan: wear black. So we did. It was a Forever Alone Blackout! All those red-wearing people strutted around twirling roses and holding gifts like they were just so cool, but we donned black garments of all sorts and drew broken hearts on our hands and faces, keeping a low profile in our Forever Aloneliness. It was pretty awesome. Here’s what I wore to school:
Black is the color of loneliness.
A broken heart, the symbol of our cause.
I also passed out “Alonetines” instead of Valentines:
That would be me in Forever Alone form.
Of all the Rage Guys, I like the Forever Alone Guy the best. He’s the one I can really relate to and imagine myself as, which makes the Rage Comics he appears in seem even better. In fact, I even created a Whovian Rage comic about this Valentine’s Day.
Click to enlarge!
That’s all for today.
HAPPY FOREVER ALONE DAY!